THE CRASH LANDING PACK

📦 INSIDE THIS CLASSIFIED PACKAGE:

Everything you need to fake your own disappearance and blame it on extraterrestrials.

• Space Monsters Magazine Issue #1 (The banned issue that got a UFO researcher ‘disappeared’ in 1997. Read at your own risk.

• "Space Monsters Logo" T-shirt (your cult uniform)

• Collection #1 of 5 Space Monsters Buttons (for trauma bonding)

$49.99 — OR KEEP PRETENDING THOSE LIGHTS IN THE SKY ARE ‘STARLINK’.

⚠️ HIGH ALERT: This product is tracked by 3-letter agencies. Shipments may contain "static" or "unexpected black SUVs"

Please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery