SPACE MONSTERS COSMIC RAIDER BOMBER – FOR LUNAR OUTLAWS & B-MOVIE REBELS

CONSTRUCTION:

• "Salvaged from abandoned UFO upholstery & drive-in theater seats"

• Aged with moon dust, popcorn grease, and alien bloodstains (FX optional)

• Lining: Glow-in-the-dark constellation map ("Follow this to the nearest space truck stop")

TACTICAL FEATURES:

• Asymmetrical zip (for quick asteroid evasions)

• Pockets:

  • Left: Fits raygun or smuggled VHS tapes

  • Right: Pressurized compartment (for Mars bar stash)

• Collar: Stands up against solar winds and film critics

CINEMATIC PROVENANCE:

• Worn by:

  • Grindhouse projectionists

  • Fugitive astronauts

  • That guy who swears he was abducted in '78

WHY IT BELONGS IN YOUR ARSENAL:

• Breaks in like a stolen moon rover

• Smells like ozone and 35mm film

• Guaranteed to:

  • Make NASA jealous

  • Make aliens double-take

  • Make conventions unsafe

#SpaceMonstersMag #BMovieSwag #LunarOutlaw #FleeInZeroG #DriveInDarkSide